Day 11 - 13 - Rays, shrubs, and a good read

The days have been a blur of nothing.  Which I think is a good thing. After all, I did plan to as much nothing as possible with a couple of days of more than nothing in between. I think I'm finally succeeding...although my landlord has started to look at me funny. Maybe I need to leave my room more?

So here's the sit-rep for the last few lazy days:

• Eaten by mosquitoes. My legs in particular is covered in welts. Nasty buggers. Between the sun screen, bug spray, and moisturizer (to counteract the dry skin caused by the sun screen and bug spray), I am slathered, stinky, and sticky. Yuck.
• Went to Rays on the Bay to watch manta rays off their balcony. It rained. They (the inconsiderate fishy bastards) did not show. It's a great bar. In an effort to blend in with the crowd, I had a lovely Pineapple Caipirinha...well more like 1/3 of one...but it's more alcohol in one sitting than I've ever had. Ray-less but a lovely evening all the same.
• Visited Amy Greenwell Botanical Gardens in Captain Cook. Not sure what driving me to all of these gardens, but it's been fun. Island botany if fascinating, especially from an evolutionary standpoint. So much specialized divergence. Natural selection at its best.
• Toured Greenwell Coffee Farm. I saw sugar cane, papaya trees, avocado trees, citrus trees, mac nut trees, as well as coffee trees. Lots and lots of trees. NOTE: Greenwell's sells expresso roast (Yeah for Eric).
• Discovered Puuhonua o Honaunau National Historical Park. A great place to learn about some Hawaiian history and see some ruins. They have a fully restored place of refuge as well as some preserved foundations from the time of King Kamehameha I. I was told there was monk seal citing the day before but alas they were not there when I visited. 
• Manicured my nails. I have to say the worst manicure ever but it was nice to just sit there and be pampered. I saw my first episode of Cupcake Wars (Weird Al Yankovic being the celebrity guest). Such a weird niche cooking obsession. I wonder who watches it on a regular basis.
• Abandoned Game of Thrones. I can't do it. It's got too many characters. And I couldn't seem to make myself care about any of them. I am such a fickle reader - no staying power whatsoever. 
• Indulged in a bit of binge reading. So far four mystery novels in the last 2 days. My sleep patterns are all over the place but hey I'm on vacation.

More to come....

Day 10 - Star Amazing Ad Nauseum

13 telescopes (2 of them Canadian-ish). Infinite stars. Dwarf galaxy. Star nebulae. Planets and moons. Totally worth getting car sick (not sure why but Hawaii makes me motion sick) on the way there.

Mauna Kea is amazing. Best tour ever. I saw the rings of Saturn!!! Sadly can't share 'cause no pics of planets or stars...well you'd need a telescope for that. But here's some of the summit. Freakin awesome.

Day 9 - It's a wrong road to Wailoa

Bit of a late start today. Got lots done in the morning or rather finally handed my finished ethics review form in. Yeah. Got lost to celebrate.

I was supposed to go to the Old Industrial Site (this is the light industrial area next to downtown Kailua-Kona) for some Korean Food and a sit down at the public beach by the disaster evacuation zone but ended up taking the wrong turn and back on the Queen K Highway headed north towards the airport and Wailoa. Too lazy to turn back... I ended up in Wailoa. Lunch of spaghetti bolognese at the Macaroni Grill (mid-drive pasta craving) and sunbathing/guitar time at the beach adjacent. Drinks at Lava Lava on the beach. What a spectacular way to spend the day.

Mr. Gekko sunning himself on the bamboo next to
the recycling bin. 

Tomorrow I'm booked for a bit of stargazing on Mauna Kea. Can't wait.

Day 8 - Poke monster

I really have to stop getting up at 6:00am. I'm on vacation for gods sake! Anyway, was up with the birds. Walked down to Kailua town centre at daybreak. It's a good ten minute walk downhill. The walk back nearly killed me. Not the distance nor the incline...but the heat. I was beet red by the time I made it back to my room.

Had breakfast at Lava Java (eggs, portuguese sausage, country fried potatoes, and a fruit salad cup). Yummy, though I have to say I'm not a big fan of portuguese sausage. It tastes like chinese lap chung. Good in fried rice, not so much as a breakfast meat.

FYI - the McDonalds in Hawaii serves Egg/Rice/Portuguese Sausage combo. How's that for local flare. I wish ours back home would serve congee and peanuts.

A quick mid-day nap and then out in the afternoon for an auto-fuelled wander. Drove Ali'i road to the end of the line. Ended up lost on some sort of private estate. The kind but scary looking lady at the gate helped me turn around and get back on the road. It was obvious that she thought I was riff raff. Apparently my little Chevy Spark didn't pass muster. Next time I'll drive a Cayenne and then look down my (albeit stubbly) nose.

On the way back I tried the DaPoke Shack. Great warabi salad. I think I picked the wrong poke though. Fish was great, the sauce not really to my taste. Overall, I think that the poke from the grocery store near the hotel was comparable. Sacrilege! But then again what do I know.

Spent the night watching "Wire in the Blood". Just as I was getting into the unresolved romantic tension between Carol and Tony, they get rid of Carol and bring in a new female lead. Out of the blue. No warning. Damn British TV!!! Not sure I'm going to keep going. I don't want to have to get to know another character and then have them yanked out of existence. Gahhh.

Day 7 - lost between Lihue and Kona

Today was a travel day. Spent it driving and flying from one city to the next. Nothing much of note.

Today's highlights were:

• Saimin (hawaiian ramen) for breakfast at the Kukui Mall L&L Hawaiian BBQ fast food outlet. Unexpectedly good. Chose the chicken because even at my most pro-hawaiian I can't do spam ramen. 
• Anti - highlight - nachos at the airport lounge bar in Honolulu. A bad choice all around. Marginally tasty. Indigestion inducing. All around through and through. 
• Chevy Spark - surprisingly peppy and fun to drive. May consider looking into one. (Thank god they didn't upgrade me to the truck)
• Hula Girl lodgings. Awesome. You can see the ocean from the window (it's far away but visible). Far enough away from Kona but close enough if you don't mind a bit if a walk. 

It's funny in many ways Hula Girl has less amenities than the place I stayed in Kauai but it has the ones that I need. For instance, no dishwasher but salt and pepper. No big screen TV but a kitchen table. More neighbours but more privacy. The kitchen and bathroom sink are a combo...but they have a real bathtub.

Second week of vacation.... life is good.

Day 6 - Spiders and Jurassic Figs

Beach at Allerton Gardens. Isolated. Peopleless. Beautiful.
I lied.  This is the best beach on Kauai. 

Today was unexpected. I ended up taking a guided tour of the Allerton and McBryde Botanical Gardens - the waterfall tour. They both part of the National Botanical Gardens. All I can say is wow. The best parts were the greenhouses and the chat given by the head gardener and greenhouse keeper. Apparently, there are three types of plants:

• 3W - those that are indigenous or brought over ages ago by waves, wind or wings
• Canoe plants - those that were brought over by the original polynesians 
• Modern introductions - those that have been brought over since

There is a movement underway to preserve as many of the 3W as they can. Many are endangered. Some down to 1 plant left in the wild. As the botanist said, sad but exciting work.
You can volunteer (even visitors) to work in the garden/greenhouses. If I'm ever back this way I'll make an effort to spend a few days here helping out!

Note to self: Bring Eric. His mind will be blown.




Today's highlights:

• Huge ass jewelled spider (and I mean HUGE) at the McBride greenhouse. The body was at least big as my thumb. All included the size of a child fist. A fellow touree said they were harmless and didn't bite. I reserve judgement. An arachnid that big can't not be good. Menacing.
• Garden cats (there were two of them) chasing geckos. Sooooo cute. Apparently cats are stealthy,  can move like lightening, and like me (they know I give good ear scratchies) :-) NOTE to self: should get Coco on the gecko excersize program to trim her down like these tropical cats.
• Gargantuan fig trees (transplanted from Australia) - the redwood of figs. Introduced to the garden around 50 years ago. Renowned for being featured on Jurassic Park. 
• Poke (Spicy raw ahi goodness) at the Dolphin (aka Fish Market) in Poipu

Note to self: Avoid the Living Foods Market (Poipu's version of Meinharts). Everything looks yummy, is supposed to be natural and good for you, and cost the moon. 3 out of 4 salads tried were a bust. The only one that was edible was the cubed watermelon with lime. I should have known better. 

Really really really big spider.
My photo makes it look small.

Ginger plant. Beautiful. This is a modern introduction.
Not sure if it is edible.

Huge fig tree. Apparently like really dry areas.
In the Hawaiian climate, it grows big but doesn't produce
edible fruit because it's too watery.

Yummy Poke.

Day 5 - Zen of nothing

Weather was crap today so I did nothing... and it was glorious.

Day 4 - End of the world

I drove to the end of the world (aka Ke'e beach) in my aim to get purposefully lost today. Literally the end of the road at the northern edge of the Napali Coast. Tragically, there were too many people and no place to park the car so I turned around and headed back. Ended spending my morning on Tunnels beach. It might be the most beautiful sandy cove I have ever seen. Mile and miles of beige sand, turquoise blue waters, minimal people, and a crappy sandwich truck with the surliest food truck lady in the world. I ate a hot dog. It was all she had at 9am in the morning. All I can say is at least the experience didn't kill me.

Today's itinerary included:

• Drive by of Ke'e
• Hot dogs for brekkie at Tunnels
• Poke and a Korean chicken bowl purchased at the Princeville grocery
• Said Poke and bowl eaten by the side of the road at Anini Beach
• Birds, birds, and more birds at the Kilauea Lighthouse and Bird Sanctuary
• Chicken in a Barrel's sampler plate (see photo below) in Kappa'a (way too much food)
• Malasada's from Kauai Malasada's in Lihue (at the entrance of KMart)

Needless to say I made up for yesterday and ate waaaayyy to much. Ended up bringing most of it back in baggies. Not sure what I'm going to do with is. Oh well, there are worse problems to have :-)

Kilauea Lighthouse, Kauai North Shore

Kilauea Bird Sanctuary, Kauai North Shore

Second lunch courtesy of Chicken in a Barrel, Kappa'a, Kauai
Sample plate. Mmmmm good aka heart attach on a plate

Malasadas at Kauai Malasadas. Located just to the left of the main KMart entrance in Lihue. Seriously good deep fried dough. 

Day 3 - Ocean is not my friend

The Napali Coast Snorkel excursion nearly killed me. I spent 4 hours of the 5 hour cruise puking my guts out. I'm not sure what was coming out cause I skipped breakfast. It was all very unexpected. The first mate said I was a shade of green he'd never seen. I have never been sick on a boat and I've sailed on everything from small outboard motor boats to cruiseships in everything from calm to 6 foot waves. Never a twinge. Damn catamarans. Or maybe I should thank god that I was in the 49foot boat and not a zodiac... at least if you puked out the back of the boat you weren't inconveniencing anyone. In a zodiac, depending on where you sat, you could conceivably bath everyone in your vomit.... yeah... thank the lord for catamarans.

Days highlights in no particular order:

• TERRA FIRMA - I can't say enough about dry land. It's the bomb.
• Saw spinner dolphins sleeping - unfortunately no spinning in action
• Nearly got rear ended by a turtle snorkelling - either it wasn't watching where it was going or I looked enough like a wounded albino monk seal in the water it was coming to check me out
• Finally some feral cats - a whole family of them (mother and three kittens) so cute. 

NOTE TO SELF: Avoid boats for the rest of the trip. While, You have identified a special talent for projectile vomiting far enough out that puke doesn't touch the side of the boat (the first mate was impressed), I'm not sure juice is worth the squeeze.

NOTE: Convenience store steamed pork in leaves thingy was not bad. I bought it due to desperation. I needed to eat something for dinner, I was lightly covered in vomit, and I didn't feel like going back out to eat. Thankfully, I didn't die of salmonella and, in fact, it was actually tastier than the one I had at the ultra expensive luau last time I was on the Big Island.

My horrible photo of a Spinner Dolphin.

Napali Coast. Beautiful but literally vomit inducing.

View off the back of the boat where I spent
most of the cruise. Ahh good times. 

Day 2 - Missing kitty

So where are the feral cats. Everywhere I go the signs say I should be wary of them. They should be everywhere...lounging on the beach, in the undergrass, and underfoot. I know their hiding. Frustrating creatures. Maybe if I walk around smelling of tuna they'll come out to play.

Chickens... I can't seem to get away from them though - the little pecking cock-a-dooling demons. I've never liked chickens. They're really only good deep fried (or roasted if you're feeling virtuous).

Here's my only cat sighting. And it wasn't feral. It was the house cat at Tom Kat's Bar and Grill (Old Koloa Town). She likes likes light ear rubs and tripping customers up by sleeping in the aisle next to tables. She is essentially boneless - I know cause I felt her up.

Food was good. I ordered "off" the menu cause my stomach was feeling cranky. Brown rice, mixed vegetable stir fry, and one fried egg. Unusually healthy for me...but then I have to train myself up to eat and digest a moco loco. Maybe by the end of the week I'll be ready for the challenge.

The days highlights (in no particular order):

1. Yeah Yamaha - one traveller's guitar purchased. It's just cheap and tiny enough. Got decent action. Sounds muted but just right for maximum playing (with minimal neighbour annoyance).
2. Coconut ice cream in Old Koloa town
3. Koloa farmers market - three kinds of mange, a tiny papaya, organic arugula, limes, and a japanese cucumber. Salad and fruit for dinner. Can't wait.
4. Spouting Horn (Poipu) - kind of cool 
5. National Botanical Garden - poked my head in. Was too late to do a tour. May go back and do the waterfall tour.
6. Kauai Coffee Company - got to say the long drive down to the visitor center might be the most beautiful scenic thing I've seen since I arrived. Just lush coffee trees (half-a-million of them) in ordered rows on either side of the road with the ocean glinting in the horizon. It smelled amazing. Self-tour was informative (20minutes) and they had over 20 types of coffees to taste test. Seriously buzzed. Ended up getting a Carmel Toffy Coffee for Eric. 
7. Singing on the patio.  

Day 1.5 - Lomi Lomi and Puka

Up at 4:30. Damn jet lag. Shared sunrise with the neighbourhood chickens. Headed out early. Got purposefully lost and ended up eating breakfast on Poipu Beach. Not what I expected.

Beach is beautiful. Lots of early morning jogger (the virtuous bastards). And lots and lots of chickens. No seals or turtles in sight. Just chickens. I'm beginning to think they are the dominant life forms on the island.

Saw my first ever surfer. Really cool. They bob on the horizon like driftwood.  The wind is something fierce this morning so the waves are up.


Today's brekkie is fried rice with assorted pork bits and a hot tea. Tea is partly due to the fact that its quite chilly. I've had to pull out mu sweater to keep warm. Fingers-crossed that it warms up in the afternoon.

Booked a massage at Hyatt spa at 1pm. Had to kill about 4 hours. Ended up bumbling around the local shopping traps. Oh woe is me :-). Lots of lookie-looing. Might go back for a framed typographic poster of Hawaii. Very cute but tough to pack. Will have to really think about it.

Booked a lomi lomi massage at the Grand Hyatt (recommended by Miss Mullins). I have to say it was a pretty spectacular experience.The voluntary pummelling was wonderful, especially when accompanied by a pre and post eucalyptus steam. The only thing that threw me off was the "clothing optional" advice. I was confused as to how optional it was. Underwear on or off?? Turns out they want you naked under them fluffy robes. Jenny, the massage therapist, was unpreturbed by my lack of clothing (but then again she's a pro). I, on the other hand, didn't get comfortable until the oiled pummelling started. 

Knocked another experience off my bucket list - I had a Puka Dog. Good buns, great polish sausage. Overall, great but not my cup of tea. Way too much sauce for me. I'm a lover of plain jane dogs. Their lemonade on the other hand was exceptional. 

Note to self:
Need to book a boat cruise and find a decent guitar store. 
DO NOT go back and buy the ring you put on hold. Cause it's either the guitar or the ring. Let's face it you'll use the guitar more.

Kauai - Day One - Lost (ironic reference to the TV series)

I've been up since 4:30 am Hawaii time listening to the birds chirping. Lovely. It's now 5:30 and sunrise is happening  (if I were to go by the surround-sound rooster crowing going down). Sky is overcast. Weather mild. Looks like it's going to be a perfect day. I'm hoping for a stress free day of knowing where I"m going and not having to find myself.

The flight in was great. It was only about half-full so I lucked out and ended up with a row all to my lonesome. The flight landed on time, the rental car was a breeze... and then the I got lost. Now this is the second time that I've landed in Hawaii after dark and the second time I've ended up lost and driving aimlessly down unmarked roads at the mercy of the wonderful people of islands. Thank god for their kindness and data plans because without them... well I don't want to think about it.

The VRBO rental is awesome. It looks just like the photos. AND I mean exactly. Couldn't have asked for nicer. Judy the owner seems great. The bed is super comfy. Definitely a recommend. (Thanks Marlene/Annie for pointing me towards VRBO).

View from patio

NOTE TO THE STATE OF HAWAII - Please please (for the love of god) redesign your street signs to be legible after dark. The current one's are SHITE. Headlight glare renders them unreadable when travelling after dark at over 35mph. At the very least, put some shoulders on the road so that haoles, like me, can pull over and check directions.

PEOPLE OF KAUAI - you are awesome and I love you for helping a lost soul. However, you'd be even more awesome if you new the names of the streets in area you reside instead of just pointing randomly and telling me to turn left after the neon "Jesus" sign. Streets have names for a reason. It is a social convention that allows people unfamiliar with an area to orient themselves. BTW "Jesus" was not lit last night AND/OR not visible from the road. Then again maybe that was a sign. Hmmmm...

Crap connections

So unlikely as it sounds, I am at coffee shop sipping back an iced matcha latte sharing a table with a strange man (he kind of looks like Simon Pegg). We're having a moment where we totally ignore each other existence and pretend to be alone at the table by occasionally glancing over our respective computing devices and blankly staring straight through each other. Ah modern romance. It really is a wonder that Canadians manage to reproduce in this era of wifi and mobile devices.

Then again maybe it's a sign from god..